The righting reflex shows up in health coaching when you feel the urge to jump in with solutions or health info. Coaches are likely to fall into the expert trap when they feel worried they can’t tell the user everything they need in the initial consultation or in the 3-minute video, or that they see misinformation shared by the user and feel they need to address it quickly.

It is really tempting to offer unsolicited advice, especially when we have expert knowledge in an area such as nutrition or fitness, and have worked with hundreds of users on a similar programme. The problem with the expert trap is that it gives the impression that you are the expert of the user's problem. This is not true. The user is the expert of their problem.

Here are some signs to watch for to spot if your righting reflex is kicking in:

  • Talking too much: Are you dominating the video message or written message with advice and information links?
  • Focusing on "fixing": Does your approach feel more directive than collaborative? Do you hear yourself saying ‘You should…’ ‘You need to…’ ‘I would do…’ often.
  • Worrying that you are not giving enough: Do you feel that you need to give more - more advice, answers, information - in the allotted time to be worthwhile for the user?

If you notice these happening, take a step back and refocus on active listening and drawing out your client's own ideas for change. As coaches we are here to guide users toward change by finding, exploring and supporting change talk, in lifestyle areas that feel important and achievable to that specific user at that specific moment. When the time is right, coaches can provide information that is relevant to the user but this should be done after asking permission - see: Giving information / advice whilst coaching

Focus on Reflective Listening:

  • Truly listen: Give your users your full attention. Pay close attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues in their messages and how they record their goal progress (or lack of).
  • Reflect back: Rephrase what you hear and see to ensure understanding and validate their feelings.
  • Ask open-ended questions: Encourage them to explore their thoughts and motivations.

Shift from "Fixing" to "Evoking":

  • Resist the urge to give advice: It can shut down the conversation and decrease buy-in from users, even when they reflect that it has been interesting.
  • Elicit their "change talk": Help them identify and build on their own desires and reasons for change, not to be your success story.
  • Use affirmations: Acknowledge their strengths and past successes to build confidence - reflect back to what was shared in the IC.

Utilise MI Tools and Techniques:

  • Open-ended questions: "What are your thoughts on...?" or "Tell me more about..."
  • Affirmations: "It sounds like you're really motivated to..." or "You've overcome challenges before..."
  • Reflective summaries: "So, you're feeling frustrated because...?"
  • Openings for change: "On a scale of 1-10, how important is it for you to...?"

 Additional Strategies:

  • Work in partnership: Frame yourselves as a team working towards a common goal, where they are the leader and decision maker.
  • Focus on autonomy: Respect their right to make their own choices, even if they differ from your suggestions.
  • Offer resources: If information is needed, suggest credible sources they can explore on their own, and ask open questions for the user to think about whilst reading.

Remember:

  • Change takes time: Be patient - you don’t have to provide all the answers in one message.
  • Acknowledge the programme structure early on: There will be a small delay in your reply - the peer support group can be a valuable tool for members.
  • Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge and celebrate even incremental progress.